PMDD is agony. It is made even more agonising by the lack of real scientific curiosity about it. All of the strategies I have found to cope have been developed by women who got tired of waiting for someone to save them, and who realised that maybe noone ever will. So they delved into the unknown depths of their bodies and their psyches and stitched together wisdom from allopathy, homeopathy and everything in-between. It’s not a science but it is enough. The only catch is that fellow PMDD warriors have to be willing to stay in our bodies. Especially when it is the least comfortable place in which to live. We have to stay, quiet and restive, listening to the responses to all the efforts we put into feeling some relief.
A strange blessing slipped in with the curse of medical misogyny. For now, it will have to do.… Read More An Ode to this Body
A good mother, I think, can only be made when her life, her health and the enormous responsibility placed on her person is acknowledged. A good mother, with her life respected, her journey supported, and the freedom to choose motherhood every day.… Read More Pro-Choice
The rich tapestry conjured up by the term ‘star stuff’ is lost in the pieces, and along with it, the nuance and complexity that make this life worth living after all. As a mother – or a child becoming a woman with children – my saving grace has been finding spaces in which to explore the nuance without guilt or caveat. The rooms I am most comfortable in are the ones in which I can gather all of myself together and share it with other whole mothers. Other spaces – the ones that require me to show up as just my breastfeeding journey, or my birth story, or my unalloyed delight at every moment of my children’s existence – are deeply uncomfortable at best, downright hostile at most. But the hardest rooms are the ones in which I am alone with the contradictions of motherhood. … Read More An Edible Woman
Listen. I like my comedy kooky. I firmly believe that the weirder the set-up, the smarter and funnier the punch line. I’ve long been a fan of Celeste Barber, an Australian comic who is famous for spoofing some of the more ridiculous expressions of glam culture. She shares most of these spoofs with her huge audience on Instagram and captions them #CelesteChallengeAccepted. … Read More The Guilty Pleasure of #CelesteChallengeAccepted
That is the promise of this dark tale. The patriarchy might be too brutal to resist and it may render you incomplete. But you are not alone in your incompleteness. And you don’t need to seek wholeness in traditional gender roles. You can find it in one another. … Read More The Grim Promise of ‘Promising Young Woman’
Know that you are of woman born. You come from a long line of incredible, ferocious, extraordinary women. You carry all of their legacies and stories with you wherever you go. Honour that in every encounter with women throughout your life. The world will tell you it is okay to forget that you are of women;… Read More Things I Want to Tell My Son in this age when #MenAreTrash
About a year ago, a video on womanhood was doing the rounds on social media. It features a series of older women talking about what they feel younger women should and could do differently in today’s fast-paced world. The video was produced by a spa called Sanctuary, as part of their campaign to convince women… Read More All I Want for Mother’s Day
There’s a word I’ve been religiously avoiding using in all my conversations, and writing about this experience, and the word is this: infertility. I avoid it partly because our doctor is yet to use it to refer to either of us (medically, officially, you are only allowed to assign it after a couple have… Read More The ‘I’ Word
Two weeks ago, I attended an engaging discussion on gender-based violence and what is involved in the work of stopping it. At this event, one of the panelists raised the issue of masculinity work as a crucial part of this. I was intrigued: whilst this is not my first time at the masculinity rodeo, per… Read More Steve Biko on Allies: Reflections on Masculinity Work
Feminism is not exactly like a religion to me, but if we’re talking about religion as the framework through which you understand life and make meaning of it, then it’s pretty close. And whilst I am in conversation with my ‘religion’, like all people who hold fast to our frameworks, there are a few… Read More Losing my Religion: Stopping Gender-based Violence
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